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Weight Loss
Tips
We¡¦ve all heard them. Your grandmother¡¦s advice,
or your neighbor¡¦s recommendation about how you can lose weight fast
and easily. Weight loss tips are as ubiquitous as people looking to
lose weight (not without coincidence). Now it¡¦s my turn to spread
the¡Ker, wisdom.
Let me tell it to you like everyone else who passes on weight loss
tips: listen to me, I know. I¡¦m thin. First, if you¡¦re going to
listen to anyone¡¦s weight loss tips, if they¡¦re a bit chubby ¡Vor
worse, look like they¡¦re trying to smuggle a small child in their
pants, avoid their advice, unless they¡¦ve come clean and admitted
that they¡¦ve never tried ¡§the nectar diet¡¨ or ¡§the Mongolian water
yak dance¡¨ themselves. Then there may just be some hope.
The thing that you should remember about weight loss tips (well,
actually there¡¦s about fifty ¡§things¡¨ to remember), is that
everyone¡¦s body and motivation is different. So, whatever weight
loss tips may work for Mandy over on Moon Street, might not work for
Simon over at Schuster Avenue. Maybe ¡§Mandy¡¦s¡¨ only seventeen and
Simon is seventy. Or Simon might have had a kidney removed two years
before. Or maybe Mandy¡¦s just plain blessed with great genes.
Okay, here are a few of my own personal weight loss tips, to add to
the pigpen of ¡§maybes¡¨ and ¡§could be¡¦s.¡¨ I should say that
absolutely none of this is original, but all of it true (just like
Aunt Judy¡¦s weight loss tips).
First, drink lots of water. Gallons of the stuff. This not only
keeps you constant (which really does help trim the fat a bit), but
raises your metabolism, which is all-important. Further, by drinking
water (more than 8 tall glasses a day, by God!), you¡¦re helping to
stave off hunger by filling your belly and also by informing that
part of your mind that keeps screaming ¡§Feeeeeed meee!¡¨ that you¡¦re
fed and well.
Another, more modest of my personal recommendations is to eat a
spoonful of mustard every day. I don¡¦t mean the fancy gourmet
mustard that we all like so much (you know the type: it usually has
a French name, is full of mustard seeds, tastes great, and rips your
wallet apart in trying to pay for it (not to mention all of the
calories). No, I¡¦m talking about good ol¡¦ bright yellow, seedless,
ballpark mustard. A spoonful a day will also raise the ol¡¦
metabolism, which is good. (Plus, as a side note, after eating the
mustard your breath will keep muggers away, so make sure you take
care of that, too.)
Finally, there¡¦s the bit of advice my mother told me when I was but
a wee boy: ¡§Get into good habits now, son, so you won¡¦t turn out
fat, like me.¡¨ I followed her advice, and while I still strain to
get my arms around mom to hug her, I am as thin today as then.
Chances are, you¡¦re not reading this while still a child, but
remember, if you treat today as a day during your childhood, and
begin living your dreams and achieving your goals, you too will be
thin, very soon. That¡¦s my tip for the day.
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